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Hey you entangled in the lies that bind trying to find your way out of being his side chick or his mistress that's only causing you grief & stress....I understand your tears. You're trying to figure out how you got here in the first place, how'd you get trapped in a maze of the same infidelity you've despised and seen others delight in your entire life. You're wondering how could you be drawn away by something so petty yet strong as words.....words that you've longed to hear from someone of your own, but instead they came with a sign of "Do Not Touch" wrapped in a package of a married/engaged/taken man. You cry and travail day and night desiring to stop because the very things you don't want to do you do.....and what you desire to you do not (Romans 7:7-25) You understand it's your sin nature but you can't quite get a hold of it. You know The Word, you don't need scriptures quoted to you but you're using God's word against yourself as a weapon instead of finding comfort and deliverance. Because you know the lifestyle you're living isn't pleasing to God you sink into self condemnation sinking deeper in the sin believing you've gone too far this time to be delivered. You Love God with your whole heart, you have a relationship with haven't turned completely away from Him but in your vulnerability you allowed the enemy to persuade and draw you away. You were broken, hurting from issues present and from childhood. For some reason you found a false sense of comfort in the half truths your lover fed you. This man tells you how beautiful and special you are and makes you feel like a million bucks when you're together. You feel sexy and irresistible, why because he's told you you're his fantasy. But after he's depleated you sexually, you may not hear from him for days or until he's "needy" of you again. He uses spiritual and emotional manipulation to keep you surpressed & under his spell, yet he can so easily dispose of you and condemn you after the act is over. He disagrees with your desire to end it blaming you for being involved with him in the first place...after all, you knew that he was married/engaged/taken. He tells you how much he thinks of you when he's with his wife/lady and he wishes he married you instead. He promises to leave or says would but he can't because of the kids/family/business/ministry or what they have invested in together....and when you express your convictions he brushes it off effortlessly and says God knows your heart. But something inside of you won't settle for that, you THIRST and HUNGER for righteousness. Your desire is to walk/live and minister with clean hands and a pure heart. Listen, this man who professes to be so in love with you does NOT truthfully love you no matter how much he is proclaiming he does! If he REALLY loved you he wouldn't put you in a situation to be broken and shattered over and over again. If he loved you he would be too nervous to mishandle a jewel so precious to God. This was set up as an ambush, a decoy from the enemy to abort and taint your purpose, calling and destiny in Christ, but take heart......ALL things work together for your good (Romans 8:28) no matter how bad the situation! God has NEVER left you even in the midst of your impurity and sin. Yes He (Christ) is married to the backslider (Jeremiah 3:14) Yes He the Holy One is in covenant with those who've gone astray! Cheer up love, there's NOTHING too bad that you can indulge in that will make Him forsake you or turn His back on you! He delights in you and chose YOU before you were formed in your mothers womb! Yes God chose YOU!! Psalms 30:5 reads "For His anger lasts only a moment, but His favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning!" He sees your tears and how grieved in spirit you are because of your sins. He doesn't hate YOU He hates the SIN! Don't listen to them (the naysayers) or him (the lover) you can be forgiven and restored! God will give you a robe of righteousness, a ring symbolizing His covenant with you and throw you a party with the finest foods welcoming you back to Him with open arms! (Luke 15:11-32) Continue to resist the enemy, no matter how hard it gets. Don't worry about your on lookers when you choose a new lifestyle that reflects the love and compassion of Christ! You'll come to a point where there will be a clear indication directing you to your way of escape! I know you have no one to talk to that won't condemn you to a burning hell, but I'll be your voice and I'll pray for you and believe God for your deliverance! Hang in there you will gain the victory! Be encouraged! #brokenwomenwin ♡ "Sing aloud, O daughter of Zion; shout, O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem! The Lord has taken away the judgments against you; he has cleared away your enemies. The King of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst; you shall never again fear evil. On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: "Fear not, O Zion; let not your hands grow weak. The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. I will gather those of you who mourn for the festival, so that you will no longer suffer reproach. Behold, at that time I will deal with all your oppressors. And I will save the lame and gather the outcast, and I will change their shame into praise and renown in all the earth. At that time I will bring you in, at the time when I gather you together; for I will make you renowned and praised among all the peoples of the earth, when I restore your fortunes before your eyes,” says the Lord!" ~Zephaniah 3:14-20 




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